Conceptions of the Mature Personality from Dr. Graves' Research

"The psychologically mature person is the one who deals successfully with the environment, the one who has an unquestioned accurate and objective perception of one's environment and others and who is able to handle both successfully. The mature person takes both the conflicts and contradictions of life and turns them into experiences which are to her advantage.

Of course dealing successfully and handling successfully presupposes a wider range of abilities and competencies than one might think at first and thus will not be achieved by many. But it is the true sign of maturity. It means a superior ability to exercise one's emotions so that these volatile features enhance rather than harm one's ability to perceive and achieve goals. Indeed, perceiving clearly is probably the best way to deal with any environment and at this the mature personality is superior. One might be tempted to assert that dealing with other humans to fulfill one's personal need is really the only necessity in dealing with the environment. But I think other people are only one part of the environment so the concept should include organizing other humans, the physical environment and one's own mind and one's own body to assure one's personal welfare.

The mature person is completely free of illusion. To her, mature means one must appraise others and self accurately, it means to be intelligent in any situation, even to being uninhibited as in sex, for it is intelligent to be so.. The mature has that clear perception of reality which is based on objective evidence and her rational deductions. She must realize this reality and acts in her won best interests even if to do so requires her to take well thought out risks, even if it means to lose a friend.

The mature person says what needs to be said and does what needs to be done even if doing so may not be liked by others. The mature person is capable unto his or her self and does not need to depend on anyone. That is, the mature person adapts to the reality of the way things are but does not just accept them. If something isn't right or isn't working correctly as the mature person sees it, it is weighed against other factors. It is then labeled good, bad, right, wrong or whatever label is necessary. Then what the mature person does is to take intelligent action toward it, doing it if it is to one's advantage, avoiding it if it is not.

The truly mature person is the one who insists on total fulfillment with all actions determined by values directed at her own well being. She would always recognize the necessity of developing herself as an entity while appearing to conform to the reality of the group. She would not do so out of fear of punishment or lest she feel guilty or ashamed but out of the realization that she must do so to employ the realities and personalities around her to her own ends without arousing them."